Today is a memorial service for Mom. At first, I didn’t really want to do anything here since most of her friends were in Charlotte, but then I realized that I wasn’t the only one who had suffered a loss and needed to be surrounded by those around me. We’ll still do something in Charlotte later, but we need this now.
In my own way of processing this, I’ve been thinking about some things… about family structures & society, wealth gaps, and how we care for the elderly. My thesis has become this; we don’t prepare ourselves for the end of life, nor do we really hold our elders the way we should as they complete their journey, and our culture does not encourage us to do so.
This is America, for the love of God. If we’re really the greatest nation then we should make the default setting for aging to be able to do it at home surrounded by the ones we love. Instead, we can’t care for them because we’re working our butts off and can’t even spare the time. Home care is expensive, but so is a nursing home. So, we end up having to play financial games to put our elderly on Medicaid and shove them in a facility surrounded by overworked nurses and aides, who, quite frankly, are not able to care for them properly.
We were really fortunate that we were able to care for her at home. It pains me that everyone doesn’t have the same option.