Anticipation Anxiety

Posted on Thursday, April 14th, 2016 at 3:56 pm

Have you ever been in a car accident? There’s a particular post-collision sensation that I feel on occasion without the adrenaline rush of being stopped suddenly by the collective collision of over four tons of metal. I feel it across my thighs, shoulders, forehead, and the bridge of my nose. It’s like my entire body has hit a flat surface, much like a cartoon coyote in a post-failure prone position at the bottom of a canyon.

“What hit me?”, he asks.

It’s like that, only in anticipation of the hit, like my body is preparing itself for a sudden stop. It’s a continual stress load of fight or flight while I’m waiting for the rug to be pulled out from underneath me. It’s exhausting and I can’t make it stop.